I’m going to try out something new here. This is a list of my thoughts on what’s coming out in July. Not all stuff I’m looking forward to, but my reactions and hopefully a preview of upcoming reviews.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon: I rather enjoyed the first Transformers movie. It’s a shame that Revenge of the Fallen had to have bad sex jokes and John Turturro’s ass, an image that will be forever ingrained in a part of my brain I only hope I can erase someday. But with Michael Bay backing off on the attempts at humor for this one, not to mention the really awesome-looking trailers, I have hopes. Don't let me down.
Zookeeper: God no.
Horrible Bosses: I am really interested in this movie because of the cast. Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Aniston, and a totally-against-type Colin Farrell as the bad bosses? Not to mention the trailers actually have some jokes in them, something that seems rare for most of the other raunchy R-rated comedies coming out. At the very least, I’m planning on renting this.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: Do I even need to explain why I’m seeing this one?
Winnie the Pooh: Sorry, guys, I love you, I really do, but barely an hour long and the same weekend as Harry Potter? Yeah, this one’s going to wait for a rental.
Captain America: The First Avenger: Not only is this pretty much required viewing simply because on the road to the Avengers movie, but it’s looking like a pretty good movie. The previews make it seem like it’s really going to play on the World War II meets the Marvel universe root of the comics. Not to mention Hugo Weaving as the Red Skull, and the Howling Commandoes (albeit minus Nick Fury, but for obvious reasons) are a huge fanboy bonus.
Friends with Benefits: It’s hilarious that Natalie Portman was in No Strings Attached, and now Mila Kunis, her Black Swan costar, is in the same damn movie with a different name. I’m holding out for the third iteration with either Winona Ryder or the guy who ran the dance studio. Preferably both…
Cowboys and Aliens: Looking like a really nice twist on both genres involved, plus Jon Favreau and a good cast.
The Smurfs: This is something I should be dismissing without a second thought, especially since I hate The Smurfs. But it’s actually looking, uh…almost watchable. The director also did the Scooby-Doo movies, which are complete guilty pleasures for me. And Neil Patrick Harris as the human…hrm…
Alphas: SyFy may not have a clue what their channel is even for anymore, and continues to churn out hilariously bad made-for-TV movies, but I will give them credit for one thing: they’ve made some good original shows. The concept of superpowered people investigating cases could easily lend itself to a lot of fun if they play it right.
Hell’s Kitchen: Last season devolved into the bitches versus the assholes, and nobody I would even consider rooting for. Unlikeable contestants year after year and a formula that’s worn out its welcome, or I could just watch Ramsey’s much better MasterChef. I’ll take the latter.
Web Therapy: Showtime’s put out some great series, and Lisa Kudrow had the best character from what I’ve seen of Friends.
It is strangely difficult to find video game release dates, likely because how often delays come up. So uh…Torchlight 2’s coming out. That might be cool, although Torchlight wasn’t really my thing. And there’s a new Call of Juarez, which has apparently angered all the fans by being set in modern-day Mexico, not that I’ve played the first two games. And there’s games for Harry Potter, Captain America, and Smurfs. Which are all looking like they’ll be different levels of terrible. Although Harry Potter lets you play as Molly Weasley, bitch. So there’s a plus. In general, it looks like I can safely avoid touching any games coming out in July and be fine.